

Ahh, the bachelor party. That last frontier of freedom for
the groom-to-be, chock full of hormones, heaving and
hangovers. Vegas has a history with these affairs, and
though stag films and women popping out of cakes are
passé, today's best men still know that Vegas is a place
to send a boy off into monogamy. Not that sex is all
that counts. The desert offers plenty of options for
every moral persuasion. What follows is a play-by-play
breakdown of three bachelor parties, ranging from safe
and sane to full-contact, VegasHotSpots style.
The Good
"I tried to convince her that just because my bachelor
party was in Vegas didn't mean it was going to be some orgy. I'm not sure
she bought it."
-
Kevin, 31; Portland, OR.
There's no getting past it: Vegas' reputation precedes it and it's unlikely that
any bachelorette is going to take kindly to a caravan of males dropping into the
desert - unless she's planning a bachelorette party of her own there. But, with
the right guys on your side, a trip to Vegas can be just that: a nice vacation
to commemorate the passage of singlehood.
"I wasn't sure what to expect, but since my best man was my fiancé's brother
Brett, I figured it wouldn't be too crazy. All I asked was that we stay away
from anything too hardcore. I'd been to a couple parties where things got out of
control and I wasn't into that."
Kevin's best man took him at his word, and planned a bachelor party even a
mother-in-law would love. The first night included a casual dinner at the House
of Blues and a mellow night of gambling and low-level alcohol consumption.
"The single guys in the crew headed out to case the strip joints for Saturday
night, but otherwise things stayed very tame. Plus, I came away with a few
hundred bucks from the craps table. Something told me I was going to need it."
Saturday morning the eight-some hit the links at Bali Hai, a pristine Strip-side
course with a Polynesian theme and high-dollar green fees. Brett figured it was
worth it, even though a few members of the group weren't the best golfers. "I
wanted everything about the weekend to be something special, something you could
only do in Vegas. This course was an absolute experience. Plus, Kevin shot an 85."
The guys soothed their muscle aches and golfing egos poolside on the white sand
beaches and lazy river at the Mandalay Bay. That evening, limos transported them
to Smith & Wollensky for a healthy steak dinner and then to the Olympic Garden
Topless Cabaret.
"I'm not a prude, not by a long shot, but I'd never really been to a strip club,
and the Olympic Garden is huge! Women everywhere doing things I'd only seen on
Showtime. The guys sent me to the VIP room with a great-looking girl who could
tell I was a little uncomfortable, and treated me gently. We drank a lot and by
the end of the night, I was buying lap dances for the more desperate guys in the
group and really enjoying myself."
The night ended at the tables with Kevin losing his last few dollars on his way
back to the room. Everybody flew home the next day and Kevin returned to his
fiancé in one piece and a very clear conscience.
"Even though we could have done most of this stuff at home, there's something
about doing it in Vegas that made it that much better. It was great to spend
some time with the guys away from home."
The Bad:
"When my best man told me the bachelor party was in Vegas, I was worried. Very
worried."
-
Frank, 29 Los Angeles, CA.
"See, Chris is a freak, especially when it comes to Vegas. He's up there at
least one weekend a month and knows way too much for his own good. And for my
good too."
Chris rented an RV and stocked it with top-shelf liquor, the best in hardcore
porn and a full time driver. By the time the 11 men crossed the Nevada border,
Frank was shattered in the back, giggling at the silicone-topped women like they
were cartoons. They pulled into the Hard Rock Hotel parking lot at 11 PM and hit
the tables with a vengeance. As Chris ran up a huge pile at Blackjack, the other
guys got busy at the circle bar, chatting up the wide variety of honeys. Frank
was too drunk to do much of anything.
"All I remember about that first night is sitting in Baby's at 2 AM, bass
thumping way too loud, waiting for someone to take me to my room."
Day two started late in a poolside cabana with Bloody Marys, TV and hamburgers.
"It was hard to leave the room and get back on the horse that afternoon, but as
much as I struggled, I couldn't let the boys down". More cards were played
poolside, and the crew regained their sea legs for another night underneath the
cabana's misters.
"The day seemed way too tame, and I could tell by his grin that Chris had
something up his sleeve. When the girls arrived in the suite that night after
dinner, I realized what I was in for."
A pair of local escorts that Chris had befriended on one of his many trips to
Sin City treated the boys to a live show, Vegas style.
"They were on the bed, in the bath - all over each other. Hands, toys, oils -
just about everything you could imagine. And these girls were ridiculously hot,
and obviously very into what they were doing. Then they grabbed me, broke out
the whipped cream and started fulfilling the guy's requests. I'd honestly never
thought to squirt whipped cream into some of the places they did, let alone have
me lick it out. I'm glad the girls' bouncer was around to keep things relatively
tame. Otherwise I would have feared for my life."
After they left, amped from the women and some potent ecstasy, the guys went
clubbing all over town - first Baby's, then Light, and finally Drai's. The room
the next morning was littered with some unused tabs and a few stray girls
that followed the boys home.
The RV ride back to LA was deathly quiet, except for the snores.
"My wife never asked me what happened that weekend - and I never bring it up. I
think a happy marriage might depend on that code of silence."
The Ugly:
"I think I might have asked a girl to marry me just so I could have a bachelor
party in Vegas. It was always a dream of mine. I wanted things to be extreme, to
kind of test my boundaries before making this huge commitment."
The first step was finding the right hotel. When Francis read about the rides
atop the Stratosphere tower he booked his rooms immediately.
"I know it isn't nice, or fancy. But how much time are you actually going to
spend in your room? I planned to be out 24-7. And I wanted good access to those
rides."
His motley crew of friends got themselves good and loaded and tested their guts
on every thrill ride down the Strip.
"Only one of us puked, which was a miracle considering how many beers we had.
Unfortunately, the puker was me."
The boys spent the rest of the night watching the bartenders' live show at
Coyote Ugly and the ESPN Zone. By the end of the night, they had attracted some
attention from a group of ladies, who escorted them back to their rooms at the
Tower.
"I was so wasted that I could have sworn one of the girls was my fiancé. I'm not
exactly sure what we did, but my wallet was a little lighter come morning. I
guess they weren't THAT into us."
One of Francis' bachelor party buddies gathered some evidence for him with a
digital camera. When he saw the photos the next day, he couldn't believe what
he'd done.
"She was absolutely butt-ugly. I felt like I wasted my get out of jail pass with
a dog. I was so sick to my stomach I couldn't even get out of bed except to
evacuate to the bathroom."
He managed to recoup for the Chicken Ranch that evening. Sixty miles into the
desert and the guys took their pick from among the storied Vegas-area whorehouse's
women.
"I'd always wanted to go to a whorehouse, but it's not like one is in every
neighborhood. Considering what I'd done the night before, I figured I might as
well finish off the weekend with a bang. And at least this time I was sure she
was cute. I picked her myself - and I was sober."
When the pictures from the night before made their way back to his fiancé,
however, the wedding was off in a hurry.
"Do I regret it? A little bit - But that weekend was everything I wanted. I wouldn't
trade it for a thing. And besides, when I finally did get married, I came back to
Vegas. It felt like I was back at square one. And she rode the roller coaster
with me afterwards."
The End:
So, there you have it: Three ways, among many possible options, to spend a
bachelor party weekend in Vegas. The potential for fun and for trouble is
limitless as are the stories. Make sure yours is a good one.